The pain of a failed nesting plan can disappoint and injure children and families, so it is important for spouses to think carefully about whether impermanence is appropriate for their situation. Couples rarely feel emotionally stable at this point in their relationship. According to Buscho, parents can use the nest as a transition period. Instead of selling the family home, buying a new home (or two), the embalming offers the couple time to consider their options: if they are working towards reconciliation or if they are heading for divorce. Having time to have a perspective on the future helps everyone. Our Vogel Nesting experience has built our trust as a co-parenting team; More than once, I thought, “If we can do anything.” But most of all, the bird`s nest built the children`s trust in the fact that we talked about what we said: we could continue to work together, we were both still here, we were all still family. When I asked Buscho why couples should consider nesting, she told me that they have more time to adjust to family changes by allowing children to stay home full time and that they feel safer at a time of great transition. “It`s no different than birds that take turns going up and down for babies, while babies stay safe and secure in their soft, protected nests. Parents work together to create a safe, stable and loving home for their children. My ex-husband and I did the same thing. We were able to rent a 2 room apartment within a mile of our family home. He had a room and I had a room. Our children were a little older at the time of our separation – 14, 12 and 9, so we`re going to deny it for a week.
We continued this agreement for a year, then I moved into the apartment. “Her second room had bunk beds, and my daughter shared a room with me. Although not an ideal location, it worked for the year we were in the apartment. Vogel-Nesting was invaluable to the children, to my ex-husband and to me. Letting the children cry and get used to a new “normality” when we didn`t need to go back and forth made our experience much less painful than it could have been. I know that I was very fortunate to have been in a situation where we could afford to set up a small place where my ex and I could grieve and begin the process of rebuilding our own lives. I would recommend to any couple who has the pain of divorce to consider your options to try vogel-Nesting if you separate first. It was certainly more physically difficult for us than the parents – but it was we who decided to separate.
The children had no say. We were the ones who forgot a pair of shoes or something we needed to work — not the kids. We were the only people I knew who tried to do it — I`m glad to hear that it worked for you as well. At Goldman Law, we can help you imagine a bird`s nest as it can apply to your family. We are also pleased to advise you on the legality of this co-education agreement. You can speak directly to one of our experienced family lawyers. Call us today. When Daria and David finally decided that their marriage was over, they were determined that their divorce would have as little negative impact as possible on their children. Daria and David decided to try Nesting.
Nesting is a relatively new and creative idea in the arena of child care agreements. It is called the nesting place because the children stay in the house, while the parents are the ones who come and go, much like the parents of birds that come out of the nest and leave the baby birds on site.